It's been a long time ^^ I didn't write anything in the blog :roll:

Well ... me alone here, in the first morning of 2006 ... spending my time thinking this topic that crossed my ear on the last minutes of year 2005 ... 'Is there any certainty in life?' ... have you ever heard this sentence ... 'The only certainty in life is its uncertainties' ... sad but true ... many unexpected things happen in life, it can be a bad one, it can be a good one ... no one will ever know ... thinking how many disasters happened last year and yet how many good things happened in one's life ... I should be thankful I am still blessed with this life, shouldn't I?

Human's time is finite ... that's for certain ... so start acting responsible, people! *heard that there was bomb explosion in Jakarta few minutes after new year ... wats up with that!! :? i don't get it, don't they appreciate living beings anymore :?*

Why am I sounded so philosophical today? ... something's definitely wrong *too much caffeine? hmm didn't drink any coffee today ... too much tea, yes :lol:*

A note to myself: Going down town on New Year's Eve is a no-no (x_x)

News: two little girls (sisters) were admitted in hospital few days ago after they fell off from Downtown East's indoor rollercoaster. The younger sister remains unconscious (until the time the newspaper print the news down) and in critical condition. The older sister is thankfully in a better condition.

When I first read the news in Saturday's Strait Times, I was shocked and horrified. Few months ago, I went to Downtown East and played the same game, and in result, I sprained my right thumb and received bruises on my both legs. My right thumb still has the reddish mark where it was 'injured' the last time.

This has made me conclude that the game is really not stable and not 100% safe. When I rode it, I was also in the front seat (same as the 2 injured girls), and obeying the person in charged, I held on tightly the rail in front of my seat but it caused my body to be unstable, and in the middle of it, I could feel my body began to slip from the seat, and I had to hold my body with my legs (knees). That was how I got those bruises.

Now I realise that my sprained thumb is probably not the main thing I should beware of that day. It was the fact that me, a 160+cm girl with 48kg weight could slip through the seat like that. Maybe, that was what happened with the 2 girls as well.

I can only say how grateful I am that all I got was a sprained thumb. And I'll pray for the 2 girls.
And a little advice: go for the back seat, it is really much much safer. Trust me, cuz I've tried both front and back seat.

Monday blues.

I get it every week lol but anyway today is not a so-bad monday.
I've gotten my C#.NET cert for its completion, I've taken my JLPT4 yesterday, and I've applied for a debit card from my bank just now (so excited! can't wait for the card to arrive lol).

I'm still stressed about work. But well, what to do about it. Work is work. And I promised myself I'm gonna hang in there until at least january or february next year.

Few minutes ago, when I was thinking about my debit card, I realized how over the years, I'm becoming more of a person who would take the first step, take more risks.

I'm not the kind of person people would say 'brave', or 'outgoing', or 'open'. And 'challenger' is definitely not applicable to me. In fact, when I asked 10 people to use 1 word to describe me, 7 of them used the exact same word 'mysterious'

I tend to keep to myself, and because I don't really dare to face new people, I usually think 100 times before I do something new. But over the years, I've becoming more at ease with myself, and able to summon the necessary amount of courage to sign up for activities or to do things that I like.

For example: signed up for gym, japanese course, computer course, overseas trip with my friend, ....(as in many more), today's debit card.
For most of you, what I did was just an everyday life for you. But for me, those things took mental courage and self-confidence to make me able to go for those things alone. And I'm sooo grateful for it. Because of it, I currently have many things that I love in my life, and the things like gym and japanese lesson have become my every-week pleasure time :D

My friend once told me that she wanted to go to gym, but she's not the kind of person who can go to a new activity by herself. What I didn't tell her was that I was, too, that kind of person :roll:

And currently, I am now used to the idea of just 'go-for-it' and I have soooo many plans I want to carry out or achieve within the next year.

Can't wait :D

Somebody hold me too close,
Somebody hurt me too deep.
Somebody sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware of being alive,
Being alive.

Somebody need me too much,
Somebody know me too well,
Somebody pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support for being alive,
Being alive.

Make me confused.
Mock me with praise.
Let me be used;
Vary my days.
But alone is alone,
Not alive.

Somebody crowd me with love,
Somebody force me to care.
Somebody make me come through,
I'll always be there, as frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive.

The song above (Being Alive) is one of my favorite musical song. I came across that song when I was watching the VCD of Hey! Mr. Producer! several years ago, and the VCD has made me fall in love with many musical songs.

But this song is a bit special to me. Because, we have to go back a few years here lol, I once read somewhere that half the people we meet everyday are not alive (mentally of course, or the writer should be in an asylum of some kind). I remember vaguely the writer said something about people not having a dream. Not having known what to do, or where to go, or what they want to do.

Everytime the above song crossed my mind, the writings immediately come to mind as well. And everytime I would ask myself..

"So...how to know if I am alive?"

I look at myself and I wonder:
Does worrying about my work every single day mean that I'm alive?
Does feeling happy everytime I see the christmas light-up mean I'm alive?
Can saving money to go to Japan be counted as having a dream?
Does working hard to improve my Japanese mean I have something I want to do?

And everytime, I would incline to say YES, it does, and it can.
And when I read the lyric of the above song, I think that being alive is to be able to have emotions, to be able to feel the need to continue surviving, and the most important thing for me, being alive is to be able to feel grateful for the life itself.

Well, this is solely my opinion of course. And I'm not much of thinker..so...:lol:
But it does give something to think about, isn't it? :D

These days I feel that I'm getting the hang of my work
I guess I really need to feel the 'drive', the motivation...
I promised myself that I'm gonna work as hard as I can these coming 2 weeks cuz I probably gonna go to Genting for holiday (just for a couple of days).

Gosh, I really need that hols >.<

Anyway, so far so good :D
Every morning I do a conversion of simple java progs to C++
and in the afternoon (after lunch) I would continue doing my 2 main programs (the parser and the boundary box calculator)..
fyi, the parser is still not working (feel like cursing, honestly) :evil:
I'm gonna try a new idea later on...I really hope it'll work *sigh*

Anyway, working too hard on computer is soooo bad
I keep having headache and nausea in the afternoon
:(

oh well...what to do...

~C.I~

LOL I keep remember that line in the title from momusu's hellp morning...
Ogawa is soo funny...I actually can't believe it..she used the word 'long long yesterday' and then 'yesterday yesterday yesterday ぐらい' :lol:
I'm not sure if she meant some time ago....should be something like that lmao

Anyway, I haven't been here for ages now..and I feel guilty lol but my flatmate hasn't been here either!
*makes mental note of reminding flatmate about our neglected blog later*

Yesterday I've been working hard! Though I must say I'm not proud of it...I had so much work to do in so little time cuz I've been so slacking last week...I mean, just thinking about the @%$R$&%$ algorithm made me wanted to cry already :roll:

But at least I've done much of it...now just have to think about 2 more algorithm problems...and sad to say, those 2 problems are the hardest ones (which explains why they are still unsolved lol)

Dear God help me

~C.I~

Tired...tired...super tired...ultra super duper tired...
Not just physically, but also mentally...
It's like I'm so fed up with everything that I don't have any mood to do anything, to feel anything..you can say that I have no mood at all right now :roll:
Now I know what it feels like when my friend complained to me how she felt like a zombie with work and everything

But anyway...I'll be ok
I always do :lol: I just hope that I can finish my program soon
although unlikely, cuz I'm still struggling to think on the $&R^%#$#^ algorithm :P

Hopefully next week, after a short holiday, I'm gonna feel a whole lot better and then I can think straight enough to make the correct algorithm *sigh*

I'm carrying this big bunch of burden in my mind that I can't even sort it properly anymore
gah...

~C.I~

LOL today I keep feeling hungry the whole time, hence the title :lol:
Today I'm having my break. Just 1 day off from work.
Yesterday I worked until a bit late (at least later than usual, by my standard LOL) and anyway today I plan to continue searching for a gown for the party I'm gonna attend in Indonesia next week, and later I'm gonna register for my JLPT.

I've decided, at long last, to register for JLPT 4 :D
Honestly, I really don't have any condifidence to take JLPT 3.
Okay, so the chances are that by December, I would pass Inter-4 already and I at least should already have sufficient background for the 3rd level.
But I still don't feel safe, and I guess I just want to go to the test feeling confident that 'I have what it takes' lmao

So yeah, anyway, blog mate here said that from JLPT 3 to JLPT 2 generally needs 1 or 2 years of study.
So I suppose it will be ok for me to take JLPT 4 this year, JLPT 3 next year, and so on haha...good arrangement ;)

I'm blogging this from Cineleisure's internet cafe. Well..it's not exactly a cafe, but I dunno what else to call it :lol:

~C.I~

Just ate vegetarian soup for lunch haha...the cook boiled the soup with corn, so the soup then has the taste of corn, and I like it very much :D

This morning I had trouble waking up. Then I actually had dream of me waking up :lol: which occurs alot, everytime when I'm having such difficulty :roll:
In my dream, I woke up, and straightaway went to NTU to work. But then I realized "damn! I haven't bathed!!" -.-'
And I was so confused and worried, cuz at that time I already reached the area near NTU and it would take like half an hour to get back to my house.
Then I frantically looked for a cab, but it was very hard (peak hour lol).
After that I suddenly stopped and think "This is a dream...in that case, I just close my eyes and I'll be back on my bed" :roll:

And I did that, and yeah, I was right on bed, waking up :lol:
Then I did some preparation and stuff...but in the middle (I can't really remember what happened), something startled me and then I actually woke up...for real this time :lol: :lol:

Some dream eh? Waking up 3 times is really something :?
:lol:

Tomorrow is Saturday! This weekend I'm gonna have a blast! Haha~
Tomorrow I'm going to see Japan Music Fiesta and see v-u-den haha
then on Sunday I'm gonna have the Bunka 20th Anniversary Party :D sugoi yo sono party wa. It's kinda a semi-formal party, cuz there's a dress code and everything.
But I don't care...It's the kind of change of atmosphere that I need :D

~C.I~

Nothing much happened recently...
I suppose that'll explain the lack of blog updates lol

Well as for me, I've been sick for a week now
Cough and all....no fever, thank goodness
And I've been busier with work too
not to mention the prospect of taking JLPT3 this year,
really makes me nervous >.<

Frankly, I don't have a lot of confidence in taking the 3rd level...
but blogmate encouraged me for it..
ans also my sensei: "してみて?" :roll:
So I suppose I'll go for it anyway...
Most likely I'll be taking JLPT4 as well
Just in case :lol:

~C.I~

I'm not hungry but i feel like eating takoyaki *thanks to my friend :shock: 12 takos at a time + 2 extra from the seller* no wonder you didn't loose weight hahahha :D... btw i'll look for the books ^^

Summary of the day: not pretty good day... had stomachache and got nudged *elbowed* by this uncle in the bus and he didn't even bother to look back :evil: it's painful !... i know everyone loves personal space but please do remember you're inside public transportation which supposed to be SHARED with public :evil:

~k.n~

I want to see Summary in Japan!!

bleh :P

I read what my blogmate's forum member wrote when she went to Summary, and it sounds totally great!
Remember blogmate-aka-housemate, next year we go to watch Summary~!! So we better start saving up now :D
Which is going to be really difficult lol thanks to all the releases coming up *sigh*

Anyway, my IT friend told me about a w-inds fan who dumped her boyfriend because of her idol (i.e Keita)
err...well....I suppose she needs some reality check? Then again...maybe it's just her age. Cuz I think she's like 16 y.o or something :?

Hm...I haven't updated this blog for a while *gives blogmate a death stare lol* got nothing to write I guess...
Oh, last week I only went to the lab to work on Tuesday! lol
The rest of the days I was..well...not in the lab :roll: :lol:
Had fever on Tuesday night and rest at home on Wednesday.
On Thursday was already planning to go to the lab and was taking a morning bath when I suddenly thought of an idea of what to do with my program.
So I did my coding straightaway after bath, and couldn't stop until noon :shock:
Friday...well...basically I was just lazy :twisted: but I still did my work *proud* with the help of housemate wahaha~ thanks k.n :D

Today I need to do a new algorithm for my not-new-but-needs-to-be-c hanged program :(
Can't wait for the day to end lol

~C.I~

Ahaha~

I don't know if I actually feel abit anxious about meeting the new head of my department...
But this morning I was really careless about many things
The most important thing was when I forgot to pay for my dentist xD

I went to the dentist this morning, and intended to go to work afterwards.
After I finished everything (which were 4 filings and 1 closure of teeth T_T), I can't remember what I was thinking, but my mind was surely occupied with something...I walk straight to the door and didn't remember that I need to pay first LOL
I got on the train and after 4 stops, the dentist's secretary called me on my cell and ask for money :lol: :lol:

I was like "hahaha sorry sorry...why didn't you call me earlier?"
and she said "I thought you were only going to the toilet"
:lol:

And so I went back to pay.
And after I paid for everything, I started leaving saying "is that all?"
and she said "ah! here's your card!"
me: "*groan* thanks...my goodness" :roll:

LOL anyway, in 1 hour going to meet the new head...
ドキドキしていま� ��!
I hope he's a nice man....I've been slacking alot with my work lately LOL well...I hope I won't get a warning or anything
*make a mental note to be more diligent starting next week * :lol:

~C.I~

Not about the drama Lost ^^"

I really lost 2 things on 2 consecutive days-Monday and Tuesday :(
And they have cost me quite lots of $$...and gonna spend more $$ in the coming week T_T

On Monday I lost my precious precious necklace...
I was trying out this choker (which I eventually bought), and I took off my necklace and put it in my hand...
which I forgot later on *cries bitterly*
So yeah....when I remembered about it several hours after that, I went back to the shop...and as I thought, it wasn't there...not on the floor, not anywhere
That necklace was this year's birthday present from my boyfriend
And stupid me lost it...

The next day, when I thought I had learned my lesson,
I lost my ezlink card (I realized it around 10pm last night)
...and I had to buy the new one *sob*
I was worried that I might have to use cash to buy the train and bus tickets today, but thank goodness the train station sells ezlink, and the train stat opens until late...
So I spent my $$ to buy replacement ezlink last night

*sigh*
*sigh*
_ _"

~C.I~

Really lazy and tired of yesterday's gym *yawns*

Anyway, was thinking of what not-so-important things to write here, so here it goes...My eating habit..so called lol

- When I eat indonesian chicken noodle, usually there would be chicken and mushroom in it. I would only eat the mushroom and give all the chicken to another person instead. ^^"

- When I eat fried rice (or fried noodle or something like that), other than seafood and salted fish fried rice, I won't eat the meat in it

- When I was a kid, I really like to eat instant noodle, but only the soup. So I would ask another person to eat the noodle, and me the rest (which is not much xD) stupid I know

- When I eat rice with 2 or 3 meat/veggie, I would really separate them so that the meat won't be on top of each other

- I always save the best for last lol very organised in eating

- Only like to eat tomato by itself. I mean, if there are tomatoes inside a sandwich for example, I would take it out and eat it first, because I don't like to eat tomatoes together with anything else 

- I drink a lot when I eat (not after I finished eating, but during eating)

err...what else....I don't know...that's about it lol

~C.I~

Sleepeeyyy...... _ _"
I have absolutely no work to do (still waiting for my sup to email me) and I almost slept when I was reading Scaredy Cat just now.
Tried basically everything that can be done in order not to sleep (i.e surfing internet, sms-ing, etc) but my eyes still feel heavy.
So I had to go for the last option...
which is EAT :D
I may sound like massu now :lol:

So now I'm eating my banana I bought this morning
I'm supposed to (well, at least I intended to) save it for tea break time, but...*shrugs*

Today have that annoying phlegm in my throat :x
but the sinus is kinda gone I think lol I'm not making any sense

Anyway....ergh...well...nothing important is happening I guess
Save for the 1st chinese lesson I'm going to have later after work and my dentist appointment tomorrow
....I don't like going to the dentist T_T

~C.I~

I lost my file with all my music scores (for choir) in the bus this morning

After I realized that I left it on the bus, I panicked
Mumbling to myself what a dork I was for being so forgetful :(

Straightaway I called my boyfriend and he helped me finding the SBS phone number for me to call
Oh, and in the middle of all that, I had to go to collect my degree cert and facing all those people with the surveys and offers and whatever :roll:

Later on he helped me to call the SBS again
Unfortunately, as luck would have it, they tried searching for it...but...
Couldn't find it! :(
Kewl...awesome....just great for me to begin my day *sob*
Yeah well, but it's ok...nothing's really important in it anywayz..just keep whacking myself on the head for it ^^"

:!:
~C.I~

If only I could turn back time..
I suddenly remember this song because of my friend's blog..
and no, I don't wish to turn back time LOL

Anyway, not feeling so good this morning
Couldn't wake up without feeling totally exhausted
But I think that was due to my 2 sinus medicines I took last night
(it was a very bad sinus xP)

Just now I just found out that I should've picked up my degree cert this afternoon 12-2pm.
And I found out about it around 3pm, missed it by 1 hr! *groan* :roll:
oh well...tomorrow morning I'll have to pick it up

Tonight my family is going back...
さみしい~
But anyway, last night I spent some time with them, so it's not bad I guess
We ate at a thai restaurant in centrepoint (Parkway? Is that the name? can't remember)
That was good...
They weren't very hungry though (we ate lots of tidbits before that lol) but the food portion wasn't so big either, so we managed to finish like 90% of it LOL

Today....I want to have some time to rest...
I'll just see how it goes later

~C.I~
bored

My 2 cousins, and my 2 aunts are here in Singapore :D
Sheila was dying to get back here for shopping, and Maureen (who at first said "go to singapore? what for??" finally came too, to see me, cuz we haven't seen each other for years, since she went to study in France.
I was sooo happy to see her again yesterday :D
We still click, and we talked alot, we talked about everything :D nothing changes for sure ^^ *happy*

Sheila, as usual, was the shopping queen. Her mom come up second
^^"
Just one hour in Singapore, my aunt has bought 1 bag from OG.
And a trip to taka resulted in Sheila bought 2 Mango tops, 2 PepperPlus tops, 1 pair of shoes, 1 Giordano pants, and 1 ESPRIT bag.
Maureen bought 1 Zara top and 1 Giordano pants I think.
As for my other aunt, well.. :lol: she bought a tounge-cleaner and a bed-cover.
LOL my cousins were like O.o" when they saw what my aunt bought.
But anyway, she's not the 'clothes n shoes n bags' type *shrugs*
She still bought 1 ESPRIT yellow shirt though (and directly wore it last night :lol:)

Each time we went to a shop, the scene would be like this:
-- Sheila went in first, then in a few seconds got lost in the midst of all the shoppers (and everytime managed to find item(s) to try on/buy)
-- Maureen and I walked near each other and slowly looking through the items one by one (and discussed it shortly before proceeding LOL)
-- My cousin's mum would brave the crowd for a while, and if not helping her daughters in choosing items, she would join my other aunt outside and wait for us there :lol: :lol:

That's our family's shopping spree LOL
I had a sore feet yesterday but I don't care
Talking to Maureen again worth millions more than that :D

~C.I~

I'm currently listening to Swing Girls LIVE CD (it's a cd from their concert after their performance in Japanese movie Swing Girls).
The CD is a birthday present from blogmate :D
gya~ so happy! Thanks blogmate! *starts thinking what to get for your birthday LOL*

Anyway, I'm so happy I can have this CD
I think they made a marvellous effort to be able to play by themselves in the movie and the concert
I was flipping through the booklet, and the few last pages showed the backstage after the concert, and the girls were crying and hugging and laughing...
That's touching isn't it...I imagine they must feel very proud of themselves and very happy that they can perform like that..and sad when it came to an end...

Right now it's playing the 7th track, and it has one girl reading her letter written for the audience, and in the end the girl broke crying...
Touching :)

~C.I~
Teppen pv ~ yay! (very off topic LOL)

Thanks blogmate :lol:
My friend is having his birthday today...just 2 days younger than me haha
actually, my Mom said that I was supposed to be born on 22nd of June.
But I guess I insisted to be born 2 days premature :lol:

LOL yeah, that biking lesson was fun
Thank goodness you managed to bike on your own in the end blogmate
otherwise I think you would get 'traumatized' and didn't want to learn anymore :lol:
Now at least you just need an hour or two to handle the steer properly and then off we go! :D

I watched Batman Begins on my birthday
I wouldn't call it a great movie...but it shows a nice introduction on Batman....the whys and hows :D
And according to my friend, (quote) for a Batman movie, Batman Begins is considered really good already
:lol: whatever that means

Now I'm waiting for War of the Worlds
I think it's gonna be something lol

~C.I~

:D Happy Bday! *to blogmate* may ur wishes come true ^o^ ...

Thanks for coaching me how to cycle and being patient with a slow learner like me ehhehehe ... now i'm having muscle pain on my arms *too much focus on steering :( ?*... didn't feel the pain yesterday ... but it was really fun ... can't believe myself, i was actually having fun biking :shock: *to think that i'm scared of it ...* and ignoring all that cute dogs that passed by *something is wrong here heuehuhue :lol:*

Downloading biro-do pv, hope it's nice one ^-^

*k.n*

I'b habing a cold right dow....*sneezes*
ahaha okay, it's actually not that bad...just that I've been sneezing since morning and my nose is kinda hurt already :P
But it's nothing much...used to it by now anyway :roll:

Today is hair day!
As in I'm going to the salon later to highlight and cut my hair :D
woohoo~ the day has finally come lol
I've wanted to cut and hightlight my hair since last month but waited for this month to do so
My hair has lost most of it's highlight colour...somehow the color's like...faded? ^^"
Anyway I'm so excited for today haha

This week gonna have a long weekend ^^V
I applied for a day leave on monday
So hopefully gonna have lots of fun this weekend
Planned to go to East Coast to cycle
and going to teach blogmate how to cycle too
:lol:
ganbatte blogmate! :D

What else...oh I had a dream last night (as usual _ _" )
I dreamt I was doing some activity and the whole time I was half revising my japanese grammar :roll:
I remember flipping through my file to revise the grammars and stuff
Maybe I like japanese more than I realized :lol:

Oh and one more thing....citta told me that 2 of her friends said that Massu looks like one of F4 members!! :evil:
and from the description, I think they meant Vanness Wu (don't know how to spell his name correctly)
I think they look absolutely different!!!!
:!:

Still can't sign in to msn *sob*

~C.I~

Happy Wednesday! (so far nothing happy happened tho' :roll:)
I've been trying to download this Music Station clip, but YSI keep failing on me....it even stopped at 92% :!:
Gosh I'm so angry :evil:
and almost in the state of panicking right now...I really wanna see the clip~!

Anyway, so far nothing to do in the lab....
Maybe I'll just think of some algorithm later after lunch...whether it will be used or not depends on my sup's reply
I just wish I knew exactly what algorithm I should make ^^"

Oh yeah, I dreamt of Kato of NEWS last night
Goodness....that was the first time he appeared in my dream :lol:
I can't remember the story, but Kato and my family (my parents were there too) were waiting for another person as we were going somewhere..
and while waiting, we chatted, and Kato actually impressed my parents with his personality :lol:
That was super weird cuz I usually label him as the 'blah' guy *hopes nat doesn't read this*
:lol:

blogmate: I did try once you know, having the dream-diary thingy...didn't work :lol: too lazy to update ahaha

~C.I~

8) this is also not important  :!: blogmate, yappp that's the right kanji n you'd better make a dream diary or something as you often have such amusing dreams ... anyway i just want to say i like mago2 arashi alot *it's so so not important* n happy to see yumi adachi again hehehhehe :) hope she'll have another work with koichi someday ...

*k.n*