It's been a long time ^^ I didn't write anything in the blog :roll:

Well ... me alone here, in the first morning of 2006 ... spending my time thinking this topic that crossed my ear on the last minutes of year 2005 ... 'Is there any certainty in life?' ... have you ever heard this sentence ... 'The only certainty in life is its uncertainties' ... sad but true ... many unexpected things happen in life, it can be a bad one, it can be a good one ... no one will ever know ... thinking how many disasters happened last year and yet how many good things happened in one's life ... I should be thankful I am still blessed with this life, shouldn't I?

Human's time is finite ... that's for certain ... so start acting responsible, people! *heard that there was bomb explosion in Jakarta few minutes after new year ... wats up with that!! :? i don't get it, don't they appreciate living beings anymore :?*

Why am I sounded so philosophical today? ... something's definitely wrong *too much caffeine? hmm didn't drink any coffee today ... too much tea, yes :lol:*

A note to myself: Going down town on New Year's Eve is a no-no (x_x)

News: two little girls (sisters) were admitted in hospital few days ago after they fell off from Downtown East's indoor rollercoaster. The younger sister remains unconscious (until the time the newspaper print the news down) and in critical condition. The older sister is thankfully in a better condition.

When I first read the news in Saturday's Strait Times, I was shocked and horrified. Few months ago, I went to Downtown East and played the same game, and in result, I sprained my right thumb and received bruises on my both legs. My right thumb still has the reddish mark where it was 'injured' the last time.

This has made me conclude that the game is really not stable and not 100% safe. When I rode it, I was also in the front seat (same as the 2 injured girls), and obeying the person in charged, I held on tightly the rail in front of my seat but it caused my body to be unstable, and in the middle of it, I could feel my body began to slip from the seat, and I had to hold my body with my legs (knees). That was how I got those bruises.

Now I realise that my sprained thumb is probably not the main thing I should beware of that day. It was the fact that me, a 160+cm girl with 48kg weight could slip through the seat like that. Maybe, that was what happened with the 2 girls as well.

I can only say how grateful I am that all I got was a sprained thumb. And I'll pray for the 2 girls.
And a little advice: go for the back seat, it is really much much safer. Trust me, cuz I've tried both front and back seat.

Monday blues.

I get it every week lol but anyway today is not a so-bad monday.
I've gotten my C#.NET cert for its completion, I've taken my JLPT4 yesterday, and I've applied for a debit card from my bank just now (so excited! can't wait for the card to arrive lol).

I'm still stressed about work. But well, what to do about it. Work is work. And I promised myself I'm gonna hang in there until at least january or february next year.

Few minutes ago, when I was thinking about my debit card, I realized how over the years, I'm becoming more of a person who would take the first step, take more risks.

I'm not the kind of person people would say 'brave', or 'outgoing', or 'open'. And 'challenger' is definitely not applicable to me. In fact, when I asked 10 people to use 1 word to describe me, 7 of them used the exact same word 'mysterious'

I tend to keep to myself, and because I don't really dare to face new people, I usually think 100 times before I do something new. But over the years, I've becoming more at ease with myself, and able to summon the necessary amount of courage to sign up for activities or to do things that I like.

For example: signed up for gym, japanese course, computer course, overseas trip with my friend, ....(as in many more), today's debit card.
For most of you, what I did was just an everyday life for you. But for me, those things took mental courage and self-confidence to make me able to go for those things alone. And I'm sooo grateful for it. Because of it, I currently have many things that I love in my life, and the things like gym and japanese lesson have become my every-week pleasure time :D

My friend once told me that she wanted to go to gym, but she's not the kind of person who can go to a new activity by herself. What I didn't tell her was that I was, too, that kind of person :roll:

And currently, I am now used to the idea of just 'go-for-it' and I have soooo many plans I want to carry out or achieve within the next year.

Can't wait :D

Somebody hold me too close,
Somebody hurt me too deep.
Somebody sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware of being alive,
Being alive.

Somebody need me too much,
Somebody know me too well,
Somebody pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support for being alive,
Being alive.

Make me confused.
Mock me with praise.
Let me be used;
Vary my days.
But alone is alone,
Not alive.

Somebody crowd me with love,
Somebody force me to care.
Somebody make me come through,
I'll always be there, as frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive.

The song above (Being Alive) is one of my favorite musical song. I came across that song when I was watching the VCD of Hey! Mr. Producer! several years ago, and the VCD has made me fall in love with many musical songs.

But this song is a bit special to me. Because, we have to go back a few years here lol, I once read somewhere that half the people we meet everyday are not alive (mentally of course, or the writer should be in an asylum of some kind). I remember vaguely the writer said something about people not having a dream. Not having known what to do, or where to go, or what they want to do.

Everytime the above song crossed my mind, the writings immediately come to mind as well. And everytime I would ask myself..

"So...how to know if I am alive?"

I look at myself and I wonder:
Does worrying about my work every single day mean that I'm alive?
Does feeling happy everytime I see the christmas light-up mean I'm alive?
Can saving money to go to Japan be counted as having a dream?
Does working hard to improve my Japanese mean I have something I want to do?

And everytime, I would incline to say YES, it does, and it can.
And when I read the lyric of the above song, I think that being alive is to be able to have emotions, to be able to feel the need to continue surviving, and the most important thing for me, being alive is to be able to feel grateful for the life itself.

Well, this is solely my opinion of course. And I'm not much of thinker..so...:lol:
But it does give something to think about, isn't it? :D